The older I get, the more I realize the power or a man. Not just in the role of husband, uncle or friend, but in the role of Dad.
I was raised by a single mother who sacrificed and did her all for us. While we struggled financially, he had moved on and raised a new family working as an engineer. The issue for me was while my dad made a new life, I was struggling with trying to learn life. In my heart I knew I was created to be a Daddy's Girl. But what do you do when you are made to be a Daddy's Girl, but Dad is not present?
A Father is very important to me. Having him absent did not make me bitter towards men, it made me appreciate who God created them to be. Mind you, I was upset with my dad, and not for the reason you may think. My anger was felt from being rejected by the man that should have taught me love and acceptance. It was felt from missing out on the model of appropriate love and more than anything, for his lack of fight for me. Let me explain.
At 16 years old, after a boy decided to follow me into the girls bathroom for a hug, I realized something is wrong and I needed my dad in my life. So what did I do, I found him (and my grandfather) and realized he was only 30 minutes away from me. After we reconnected, he took me shopping, introduced me to my siblings and then took me home. I felt renewed to have that relationship rekindled. But this was just a spark that would soon diminish.
Respark- at 20 years old, I moved with my dad and was able to learn where I inherited certain traits. I also was able to learn him and spend time with my siblings. But at this time, I also learned what it meant to be a step child. I needed my dad to stand up for me when it was clearly shown that I was not being embraced by my step mother. I also needed his presence.
When living with him, I worked over night, getting off at 2 am and more often than not, I would be forgotten. One instance when I was left to wait, I was asked to get a ride from one of the employees. The problem was, I didn't know anyone. After waiting for so long, a ride was offered to me and the gentleman that took me home, told me boldly that he wanted to rape me, but didn't because he knew I had the light (in other words, I had a relationship with Jesus). Praise my heavenly Father for protection!
As years would go by, it was the same routine. I would pursue my dad, driving how ever far I needed to visit him, but my dad would not pursue me. I knew how much I needed him and how much value he would be and shared it with him constantly, but something in me drove me to react to needing him, that didn't drive him in the same way to me.
I remember the first time my dad said "I am proud of you", it melted my heart and made me cry because I had never heard those words from him. I remember the second and third time he told me he was proud and I asked him why because I realized he wasn't active in my life to know what was taking place, so how could he say he was proud.
My prayer was always to be reconciled with my dad, but only by reason of God's understanding, that prayer was not answered. I told him continuously that I wanted and needed him, but he didn't respond in action and missed out on an amazing gift. My father passed away a few years ago and had I not gone in pursuit of him, again, I would not have seen him one last time before he passed.
Why do I share this, because my dad was needed and wanted, but he, for whatever reason, did not respond back with pursuit. But you who are reading this post, you can! I feel like the greatest thing I was robbed of was my ability to grieve my dad. I shed a few tears, but it's hard to miss what you never had. His death is just as my life had always been...him absent. I don't want your children to say that about you!
When God created the first expression of His image and likeness, He formed a man and said that it was good. As an artist, when I have a vision to create something, I will quickly start over if it doesn't meet my expectations of the vision I had. But for God, he didn't start over. He was content with making you first, men. This does not mean you are more important than women or even to dominate women, it means you have the responsibility and importance in your role to be the standard directly after Christ, in the home. Statistics prove your worth by comparing life with you in the home and out of it. Crime rates decreasing, good grades and less promiscuity are a few results of you being active and present. Like the CEO of a company, you bring order, vision and the example of Christ's love for His church in the home.
You are needed DAD! Don't miss out on your child's life. Pursue them! Trust me, they want you, but you have to be persistent. It may hurt, but you have to forgive you and be the parent. Don't divorce your child, you are necessary from birth - adulthood. Remember E.D.D. be an Every Day Dad!
